Dear White Boy,
I hope you know, I do realize I'm Asian,
But thanks for letting me know.
Surprise! I can speak English.. probably better than you,
And I probably swear more than you too,
Hard to believe, but my parents are white,
Yes, white... blanco, also known as Irish and Italian.
I don't turn flush red when I drink, in fact, I can probably drink more than you,
You can talk to me like a normal person, without a pickup line that begins "Heyyyy, I love Asian girls. This one time in the Army, I was in Japan, and I just LOVED the Asian girls. Asian girls..."
I'm not a big fan of rice, and unlike what "Jane O" thinks, there's no such thing as a sideways vagina.
I won't "Love You Long Time," and you'll have to give me a lot more than "Fi-Dollah."
I won't knock you on your knowledge that obviously Asian girls are better in bed-
Because that's true.
But you're going to have to be able to tell the difference between me and my roommate.
No, we're not the same person.
No, we're not sisters.
And no, we don't come as a pair.
"Are you Chinese or Asian?".. I hope you realize that Chinese people are Asian.. and actually I'm not either.
We're not talking to you.. because you're annoying, not because you're white.
We're over the race issue.
In fact, we like all boys, we don't discriminate.
So there..
Thanks for letting us occupy your time.
Enjoy,
The Whitest Asian You'll Ever Meet
